Phyllis Sues is 94-years-old and still dances and does yoga every day (and wants to get her passport renewed so she can continue to travel).
Dr. Leila Denmark, who passed away at the tender age of 114, practiced medicine — pediatrics — until she was 103.
Gladys Burrill ran a marathon at 92 years of age. 92!!
Amy Craton received her college degree (with a 4.00 GPA nonetheless), when she was 94-years-old. She also said she still has plenty to learn, so after receiving her degree, in creative writing and English, decided to take more courses online.
“I couldn’t see just sitting there watching Netflix all the time,” she says.
None of these people bought into the hype (and it is largely hype) that they are too old, their best years are behind them, or they have nothing else to offer the world.
Want more proof?
Col. Sanders franchised Kentucky Fried Chicken when he was 62. Julia Child was 49 when her first cookbook was published, and 50 when she made her debut appearance on TV. Wally Blume started his ice cream company, Denali Flavors, when he was 62. The company currently boasts more than $85 million in annual sales.
Ernestine Shepherd, at age 79, is considered the world’s oldest competitive female body builder. She started when she was 56. She’s also a model and personal trainer.
When did we get the idea that our lives have an expiration date that arrives sometimes long before we actually die? And, when did we decide that we had a set amount of time to accomplish the things we want to do, and that our latter years are for relaxing, playing golf, and living life at our leisure?
What if Julia Child decided she was too old to start a new career? What if Phyllis Sues decided when she hit a certain age — maybe 60 or 65 — that she was too old to dance?
What are we missing by assuming our best days are behind us, even if they’re actually ahead of us?
I know firsthand how age can be perceived as a detriment. Although the very, very large majority of our friends were supportive when my husband and I decided to start a family later in life — I was 38 and my husband was 46 when I got pregnant with Reagan — there were a few who seemed a bit surprised when they heard the news, reminding us how old we would be when he graduated from high school, and wondering if we’d be able to be as active with him as younger parents. Many of our friends were looking at colleges for their children while we were picking out crib bedding.
I even had one person say it’s selfish to have a child later in life, which, frankly, is among the more ridiculous things I’ve heard. Anyone who is a parent knows that the job involves ridding yourself of any form of selfishness every single day. But the underlying reason behind the naysayers (who were slightly less vocal about it with our adoption — perhaps because the perceived altruism of adoption outweighs the ageism factor), is that by having children later in life, we won’t be here for all of their lives.
Except, no one in life is guaranteed a certain number of days. No one. I was 31 years old when my mother passed away at the age of 62. According to the average life expectancy (currently 81 years old for women), I should have had 19 more years with my mother. But I didn’t. So does the fact that she couldn’t watch me continue in adulthood mean she shouldn’t have had me in the first place? Of course not.
What if we live a long time? What if while we’re in our mid-50s, mid-60s or even later, we are lamenting what we didn’t do, when we maybe have 20, 30 years — or more – to still do it? What if we debunked the myth that once we reach a certain age, we’re supposed to relax and sleep and vacation and play cards, and instead we lived out our passions?
What if we stopped assuming that we’re too old, when maybe we’re actually not?
What if we went back to college? Learned that new instrument? Started that job?
What if we took in a foster child? What if we realized we might have enough years left to instill values and love and compassion into a child who may not otherwise have anyone to invest in them?
I love this quote by Amy Carmichael, about parenting: “Now you are deep in what seems to me a peculiarly selfless service. The spiritual training of children must be that. You work for the years you will not see. You work for the Invisible all the time, but you work for the Eternal. So it is all worthwhile.”
Maybe our role as parents — whether it’s biological, adoptive, foster or just investing in children — isn’t to be with them all of their lives, but merely to help set the course for their lives, even after we’re gone.
I’m not suggesting we all start new jobs and careers when we hit 65, or we all start families in our 50s. But I am suggesting that maybe we don’t need to accept the myth that our society continues to embrace, that we should spend our latter years just relaxing, and that we hit an age when it no longer makes sense to try something new. I am suggesting that we not think that this dream that we’ve held but yet achieved — whether it be to learn to dance or go back to school or try something new (I still want to teach English at a community college someday) — that it’s too late, when maybe it isn’t.
I am suggesting that if you have love in your heart to give, there is certainly a baby or a child or a teen or a struggling single parent or an elderly person sitting in a retirement home who would love to receive it. And I am suggesting that we not assume we are too old to help an orphan, whether it be through adoption or foster care. Maybe we will only have 20 or 30 years with a child, but maybe that’s enough.
By the way, the picture at the top is of our good friends, Steve and Joyce. They started dancing when they were 48. They will turn 61 this summer, and their schedule, and their travel to various dance competitions all over the country makes me tired.
“You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So … get on your way!” ~Oh, the Places You’ll Go! by Dr. Seuss
“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” ~Ps. 90:12
